Being Present: What It Is, Why It Matters, + How to Make It Easier

Picture your brain as a busy highway. Thoughts and emotions are cars zooming by at breakneck speeds, and you're strapped to the hood of one of those cars in the middle of the chaos.

Being mindful and present is like sitting on a hill overlooking that highway. You see everything moving, but you're not on the road getting tossed around. You observe the traffic, the rush of your thoughts and emotions, but you don't get caught up in it.

This perspective shift is powerful.

The Emotional Pandemic We All Face

George opened the episode with a confession: "Staying in the moment is tough. I wanna say for a lot of us. How about I just say for all of us? It is a human emotional pandemic that we all face because we're living most of our life in the past or the future and not enough of it right now."

Research backs this up. A study found that unlike other animals, humans spend an enormous amount of time thinking about what isn't going on around them. Contemplating events that happened in the past, might happen in the future, or may never happen at all. Mind wandering appears to be the human brain's default mode of operation.

What Being Present Actually Means

In the simplest terms, being present is about living in the moment. It's the act of engaging fully with the now. Feeling the wind on your skin, listening intently to a friend, savoring a bite of your meal.

George broke down the distinction between being present and mindfulness.

Being present is the what. The action. You're not just physically there. You're mentally and emotionally there too. Your body is always in the now. Mentally, though, most of us live in the past or the future far more than we actually live in the right now.

Mindfulness is the how. The approach. The attitude. It's recognizing and accepting your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment with an open, curious, nonjudgmental mindset.

Here's how they work together: Imagine you're at a park. Being present means you're truly there. Watching the squirrel scurry, feeling the bench beneath you, hearing children's laughter. Absorbing your surroundings.

Mindfulness enters when an annoying thought pops up. Someone sent you an email. You forgot something important. Instead of spiraling into worry and letting that thought steal your attention, you acknowledge it and gently guide your focus back to the park around you.

"Think of mindfulness as the training ground for being present. The more you practice mindfulness, the better you get at being present in everyday moments."

The Staying in the Moment Killers

George identified four forces that make presence so difficult.

The culture of busyness. Society and our surroundings often make us feel like we've gotta be super busy all the time to be seen as productive and successful. That constant hustle can really stop us from enjoying the simple, beautiful moments happening right now.

"We as humans are kind of caught up improving our worth by doing a million things at once that we miss out on the actual joy of just being in the now. We miss that joy."

Technology distractions. George was direct about his own struggles. "When I see that red dot with some crazy number in it on my phone, I have to clear it. I see a white dot in Slack, I must clear them right now. It's like freaking Pavlov's dog."

Our phones and gadgets keep beeping, buzzing with alerts and messages. Before you know it, they're yanking us away from whatever we're doing or whoever we're with.

"Our focus is getting chopped up into tiny little pieces because we're trying to be too many places at once, but not fully present in any of them. Just saying that out loud makes me freaking sad."

Stress and worry. This one was particularly resonant for Liz. She described having a trauma response that goes beyond standard stress.

"If something goes wrong, if something doesn't go according to plan, I'll sometimes engage in that catastrophic feeling that has a physical expression. It's not just me sitting there being paranoid. My body will physically start responding as if it's going through some sort of thing."

She had to learn to recognize the pattern: "If it begins with a what if, you're just fearmongering in your own brain."

Lack of mindfulness practice. Many people aren't even at the gym working it out. They're not doing anything to get better at the thing that is highly important.

The Toddler Solutions That Actually Work

Both George and Liz admitted to needing physical barriers to stay present.

George moved his phone. He used to have a stand on his desk where his phone would sit. Every ding, beep, bop, or boop would grab his attention. Now it sits on a desk behind him, muted, where he can't see it.

"Am I being a toddler with out of sight, out of mind? Yes. But the difference in the way I feel and the way that I relax and can actually focus, magical."

Liz has a box. She puts her phone in a box and stores it in her closet. "Am I like a toddler having to do that? Yes. But I'm a toddler who can reach high shelves."

The point isn't that these solutions are sophisticated. The point is they work.

The Small Action That Changes Everything

George shared a practice that has transformed his conversations and relationships.

"When I'm conversing or having a conversation with other humans, I intentionally make sure to turn my phone over so I can not see the screen, and I silence it."

Liz remembered the first time she experienced this. An airport conversation with George two and a half years ago.

"I just remembered feeling special, but it was also refreshing. We all feel that pang when they pick up their phone, check their watch. Oh, I guess I'm just not that important."

George explained why this small action is so powerful.

"When you, in a nonverbal way, show a human that they're more important than anything else that's happening in the world through your phone in that moment, this tiny small action for them makes them feel great. For me, it makes me feel powerful because I'm literally like, nope. This is what I have dictated. This is what I will do."

The kicker: "When I can feel happy and powerful in the same moment based on a simple action of flipping my phone over, I'll take it. I'll take it all day, every week, the rest of my life."

Standing Barefoot in the Grass

George described one of his grounding practices.

"I love going out to my backyard on a nice day and standing in the grass barefoot and just standing there looking up at the sky. I think my neighbors probably think I'm weird, but I love looking up at the sky, usually with my eyes closed."

He imagines absorbing the energy from the sun above and the earth beneath. He can hear the birds chirping, feel the wind, feel the crisp grass, feel the heat of the sun.

"It is the flip side of standing in my office in front of the technology all day."

The Four Benefits Worth Fighting For

Making real connections. When you're truly present with someone, you're not just hearing their words. You're tuning into their tone, their body language, the subtle things they're not saying. You're really communicating, not just talking.

"This kind of deep attentive listening can transform your relationships. It builds trust, fosters empathy, and strengthens connections. It's like relationship gold."

Staying cool and collected. When you're present, you're in the driver's seat of your emotions, not the other way around. You recognize your feelings, acknowledge them without judgment, and then you can make a choice.

"You can decide not to chase after every thought or react to every emotion. Instead, you can respond from a place of calm and clarity."

Getting super focused. In a world brimming with notifications, multitasking, and constant interruptions, being able to hone in on one task is a superpower.

"When you're fully present and focused, the quality of your work skyrockets. You're not just ticking boxes. You're engaging deeply with what you're doing."

Growing as a human. Being present allows you to notice your reactions, thoughts, and feelings as they happen. It's like being an observer of your own life.

"As you become more aware of these inner workings, you gain the power to change them. You're no longer just reacting to life on autopilot."

The Compound Interest of Presence

Liz made a point that landed hard.

"One of the most insidious consequences of not being present in your own life is that you can end up living your whole life waiting for something."

She described times when she had to ground herself and remind herself: "I understand every aspect of your life is on fire. But you better find some joy in this because this is your life right now. You are living life right now. You can snap your fingers, an entire year will be gone."

She compared presence to a bank account with compound interest.

"It could be death by paper cut. Oh, me not going on this one walk this one time won't make a big deal. And then all of a sudden, warning. Warning. Warning. Your emotional bank account is completely and wildly overdrawn."

But it swings the other direction too. When you cultivate presence, there's a compound interest effect. You think differently. You see things differently. You operate differently.

Daily and Weekly Practices

George outlined practices that build the muscle of presence over time.

Morning mindfulness. Begin your day with a moment of presence before you jump out of bed. Take a few deep breaths and set an intention. It could be something like "today, I choose to be present and find joy in the small moments of life."

Breathing breaks. Throughout your day, take short breaks to focus solely on your breath. A minute or two of deep conscious breathing can center your mind and bring you back to the present.

Mindful listening. When conversing with others, really listen. Focus on their words, tone, and expressions without planning your next response in your head. Listen to listen, not listen to react.

Weekly reflection. Once a week, take some time to reflect on your experiences. Consider when you felt most present and when your mind wandered or raced away. Understanding your patterns can help you create more mindful moments.

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

For those moments when you need immediate grounding, George and Liz offered specific tactics.

The 54321 grounding technique. When you're feeling overwhelmed, engage your senses. Identify 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, and 1 you can taste. This is a quick and effective way to center yourself in the present.

Mantra repetition. Choose a word or phrase that's comforting and silently repeat it to yourself. It could be as simple as "this too shall pass" or "I am here." This repetition can act as an anchor bringing your mind back to the present.

Mindful observation. Pick any object around you and focus all your attention on it. Notice its color, shape, texture, and any other characteristics. Observing something in such detail can interrupt the spiral of thoughts and ground you in the present moment.

Butterfly tapping. Liz shared this technique she was initially skeptical about. You cross your arms, placing each hand on your upper arm, and tap alternately. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping lower your heart rate and engage both sides of your brain.

"The parts of you that know how to do math no longer know how to do math when you're freaking out. Twenty seconds of this and just focusing on your breath can just help bring you out of it into the present moment."

EFT tapping. This technique uses acupuncture pressure points tapped in a certain order. Liz was initially skeptical of the name. "Emotional Freedom Technique. Really. This is what we're going with?"

But she stuck with it and found it made an actual difference. "The whole idea is that you are meant to bring a thought into your head on purpose of something that causes you stress. And then you reprogram how you think about it when it comes up."

The Difference Between Planning and Presence

Liz asked George a question that wasn't in the original outline: How do you tell the difference between purposeful planning and moments where you should be present?

His answer was clarifying.

"If I'm gonna go into being a purposeful planner, I will have planned a time to be thinking of that plan. It's something that I've scheduled in my day to intentionally think about the future and strategize on the plans I wanna implement moving forward. That's that."

Being present is different.

"You can't plan to be in the present. You can only be."

Quotable Moments

"Our minds are natural storytellers and natural problem solvers. They're always on the go thinking about what's next, reflecting on what's past, or creating these scenarios that may never ever ever ever freaking happen."

"If you're living a life where your goal is to check a box, you are living in the default, not in the beyond your default."

"Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want if you stay present in the moment."

"When you, in a nonverbal way, show a human that they're more important than anything else that's happening in the world, this tiny small action for them makes them feel great. For me, it makes me feel powerful."

"Being present is like building a muscle. The more we do it, the stronger it gets."

"You can't plan to be in the present. You can only be."

Questions to Sit With

1. Do you feel like mentally, emotionally, you are chopped up into tiny little pieces trying to be everywhere, but you're not fully present in any of them?
2. What is something in your life right now that is taking a disproportionate outsized amount of focus? Something that maybe isn't changing? How many hours over the past few weeks have you devoted to spiraling, thinking, or replaying?
3. What would be different about your life if you took those hours and pointed them in a more productive direction?

Press play above to hear the full conversation. George and Liz go deep into their personal struggles with staying present, the physical tactics that help when you're spiraling, and why presence is the foundation for everything else you're trying to build in life.