When was the last time you felt genuinely loved?
Not needed. Not appreciated for your output. Not admired for your success.
Loved.
If you had to think about that answer for more than three seconds, that is data.
I talk to leaders every single week who are running on fumes. They are pouring out everything they have: mentoring their teams, serving their clients, showing up for their families, and trying to lead their organizations with integrity. They are giving, and giving, and giving.
But they are leading from an empty tank.
We tend to think of “Love” in leadership as a verb, something we do. We think of it as the energy we expend to care for our people. But the Superhuman Framework starts with a radical, counter-intuitive truth:
You cannot lead from love if you are not living in love. And you cannot give what you have not received.
The Conduit vs. The Source
There is a specific scripture that acts as the operating system for this entire Cornerstone. You have likely heard it, but I want you to look at it through the lens of your exhaustion:
“We love because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
Notice the order of operations?
- He loves.
- We receive.
- We love.
Most faith-driven leaders try to skip step 2. We try to generate love through willpower. We try to manufacture patience when we are frustrated, force empathy when we are tired, and fake kindness when we are stressed.
That is not spiritual maturity. That is performance.
When you try to be the Source of love for your company, you will eventually resent the people who need you. You will start to view your team as parasites draining your energy rather than people entrusted to your care.
The Superhuman Leader stops trying to be the Source and starts being the Conduit.
A conduit does not worry about running dry. A conduit's only job is to stay connected to the Supply.
The 3 Dimensions of Leadership Love
If your leadership feels heavy, it is usually because your love is one-dimensional. A healthy leader operates in three directions simultaneously.
1. Vertical Love (The Source)
Loving God / Being Loved by God
This is the wellspring. Your relationship with God is not a “compartment” of your life; it is the engine.
Check Yourself
Do you go to God only to get 'marching orders' for your business, or do you go to Him to get rest? If your prayer life is just another staff meeting, you are missing the Vertical dimension.
2. Internal Love (The Steward)
Loving Yourself
This is not narcissism. This is stewardship. You are an Image Bearer of God. If you treat yourself with contempt (ignoring your health, berating yourself for mistakes, and refusing to rest) you are abusing God's creation.
Check Yourself
If you spoke to your employees the way you speak to yourself in your own head, would they quit?
3. Horizontal Love (The Overflow)
Loving Others
This is the visible fruit. When the Vertical and Internal dimensions are full, loving your team is not a chore; it is an overflow. You stop needing your team to validate you, which frees you to actually serve them.
Check Yourself
Do you see your people as 'Human Resources' (assets to be optimized) or 'Human Beings' (souls to be shepherded)?
What Love Actually Looks Like in the Boardroom
(Spoiler: It is Not “Soft”)
One of the biggest fears leaders have is that “leading with love” means being a pushover. They imagine a leader who avoids conflict, tolerates mediocrity, and sings Kumbaya while the P&L crashes.
Let's kill that myth right now.
Biblical love is not soft. It is strong. Here is what Love actually looks like in practice:
Love Tells the Truth (Even When It Hurts)
Avoiding a hard conversation is not kindness; it is cowardice. If an employee is failing, the most unloving thing you can do is let them continue to fail without feedback. Love has the courage to say, “You are missing the mark, and I care about you too much to let you stay there.”
Love Sets Boundaries
A leader without boundaries is not a servant; they are an enabler. Love says “No” to the good so it can say “Yes” to the best. Love protects the culture by refusing to tolerate toxic behavior, even from a “high performer.”
Love Is Patient with Growth
Hustle culture demands instant results. Love understands that humans grow like trees, not like software. Love stays in the trenches with a team member who is struggling but trying. Love believes the best about people until proven otherwise.
Warning Signs Your Love Tank is Empty
How do you know if you have disconnected from the Source? The symptoms are usually visible to everyone but you.
- !People become problems. You stop seeing faces; you only see bottlenecks.
- !Cynicism sets in. You assume people are lazy or taking advantage of you.
- !Criticism cuts too deep. Because you are not secure in being loved by God, a critique of your business feels like an attack on your soul.
- !You cannot celebrate others. When a competitor wins or a peer succeeds, you feel a twinge of jealousy instead of joy.
How to Refill the Tank: The “Inner Room”
You cannot fix a love deficit with more work. You can only fix it with withdrawal.
In the Superhuman Framework, we talk about the “Inner Room” (Matthew 6:6). This is the private place where your identity is forged. If you want to lead with love in the Outer Room (your office, the stage, the market), you must prioritize the Inner Room.
“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen.”
Matthew 6:6
Your Assignment
1. Stop Performing
Find 15 minutes a day where you do nothing. No podcasts, no books, no prayer lists. Just be.
2. Read for Identity, Not Information
Open Scripture not to find “leadership principles,” but to find affection. Read until you find a verse that reminds you who you are to Him.
3. Let it Sink In
Do not leave that room until you remember that you are not what you build. You are not your revenue. You are a beloved child of God.
When you walk out of that room, you will not just be a boss. You will be a Superhuman Leader.
Continue Your Journey
Next Cornerstone
Purpose: Your Anchor in the Storm
Discover why purpose is not found, but received, and how it anchors your leadership through every storm.
Take the Assessment
Is “Love” Your Strongest or Weakest Cornerstone?
Get the data in 15 minutes. Discover exactly where you stand and what to work on next.
Frequently Asked Questions
Love is the foundation because it is where capacity comes from. Without love, leadership becomes performance. When you are leading from love, you have the patience, kindness, and resilience to handle the challenges of leadership. When you are empty, you burn out or burn others.
Receiving love means positioning yourself to experience God's love before you try to pour out love to others. It means stopping long enough to let love in, believing you are loved before you do anything, and cultivating an inner life where your identity is rooted in being loved, not in performing.
Signs include: short patience with people who normally do not bother you, growing cynicism, resentment toward people who depend on you, feeling like you have nothing left to give, increased irritability, and difficulty caring about things you used to care about.
No. Loving yourself is stewardship, not selfishness. Your body, mind, and heart are tools for the mission. Neglecting them is poor stewardship of what God gave you. Setting boundaries, resting, and caring for yourself allows you to serve others from a full tank rather than an empty one.
You love difficult people the same way you love anyone else: by receiving love first. When your tank is full, you have the capacity to be patient, kind, and truthful even with challenging people. Love also means telling the truth, setting boundaries, and holding people accountable.