Overcoming the Stigma of Mental Health

Your brain is the processing center for everything. Movement. Thought. Decision-making. Every single thing you do runs through it.

So why do we treat a gaping wound in our chest like an emergency but walk around with gaping wounds in our heads and act like nobody can see them?

This episode tackles the stigma around mental health head-on. George and Liz get vulnerable about their own struggles, the coping mechanisms that almost destroyed them, and why seeking help isn't weakness. It's the most empowering decision you can make.

The Double-Edged Sword of This Conversation

George admitted something before hitting record. This conversation made him nervous.

"I feel like I have things that might add value, but I also feel like this could be a little bit of my Achilles heel. But sometimes we think our biggest weakness can become our biggest strength."

Mental health wasn't something George grew up discussing. He's 52. Back then, especially if you were a guy, you just didn't talk about it. He absorbed the societal bias that mental health struggles meant you were weak. That something was wrong with you.

"I can remember literally hearing that statement. Oh, they're not right in the head. That statement gives me such an ech moment when I think about it."

It wasn't until he became a pastor that everything shifted.

When Other People's Problems Become Your Own

As a youth pastor and associate pastor, something interesting happened. People came to George with their problems. He needed to help them unpack their stuff.

What he didn't realize was that he could only carry so many other people's burdens before he needed to process what they'd given him. And that wasn't even counting his own stuff.

"I was like, man, I might need a therapist just to talk about other people's ish with somebody, let alone talk about my own."

He's reached a point now where if you asked his wife or daughters whether Dad would ever go to therapy, they would have laughed in your face. That wasn't his thing.

But George has changed his mind.

"I've come to the table and said, I'd be more than happy to go to therapy. Fundamentally, I realized that I probably need somebody way smarter than me to help me diagnose some of these things that are happening in my brain."

The Quality of Your Thoughts Dictates the Quality of Your Life

Liz's perspective on mental health comes from a different place entirely.

She grew up in an abusive household. Mental health has been present in her life since childhood because she had to understand it to survive. Family members struggled with bipolar disorder. Prescription drug abuse compounded by alcohol. Not exactly the ideal incubator for a kid.

Her therapist later confided in her father that he'd been so insistent she stay in therapy because he could never quite identify it, but he was pretty sure she was living in an abusive household. Keeping her in sessions was his way of keeping her safe.

Liz's greatest fear has always been losing her mind. Because she watched it happen.

"I watched someone look at a part of themselves in the mirror one day and refuse to ever acknowledge it again. And because of that, they punished the world for the thing they could not punish themselves for."

For years in her late teens and early twenties, she lived in fear that her own mind would betray her the same way.

"If I don't hold myself blindly and insanely accountable, I'll become her. And I can't live that way."

Are You Coping or Are You Healing?

This was the question Liz dropped that stopped the conversation.

She got really good at coping. Really, really good. But healing is an entirely different mechanism.

George had the same realization.

"I have a PhD doctorate on coping. It's not until the last 5 to 10 years that I would say I have an associate's degree in healing."

He was honest about what his coping looked like.

"I mention bottle, but just know, sometimes it was the bottle, sometimes it was other stuff. There was this younger George who was just trying to cope and definitely wasn't trying to heal."

He paused during the episode to offer something he'd never said publicly before.

"This is a public apology to anybody who knew me back in the day. I'm sorry, and I'm trying to do better."

You Don't Have to Control Your Thoughts

George shared a quote from Dan Millman that hit him hard: "You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you."

He needed a minute with that one.

"I reflected back to my younger years where the brain was the leash and I was the dog. I was being led by these random thoughts."

Mental health isn't about perfect control. It's about not letting your thoughts run your life. It's about self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and building the resilience to bounce back when life knocks you down.

Because it will knock you down. It's not if, but when.

The Diagnosis Isn't the End of the World

Liz made a point that needed to be said.

"Most of these diagnoses means that in your very complex system, a couple chemicals are different. This is not an indictment of your character. This is not an indictment of your capabilities. It means you got a little bit of extra this and a little bit not enough of that."

George agreed. He's been diagnosed with high blood pressure. Rheumatoid arthritis. Uses a CPAP for sleep. None of those felt like the end of the world.

But mental health? We treat it differently.

"If you get diagnosed with something mentally, it's like, for some reason, it's been made to be this weird, scary thing. And then I'll have a label and nobody will love me. That's just bullcrap."

Technology Is a Double-Edged Sword

George was honest about his relationship with technology. He's the guy who has to clear all the little red notification dots. Who tries to achieve inbox zero even though it's impossible.

The constant barrage of notifications. The pressure to present a perfect life. The endless comparisons to everyone else's highlight reel.

"All of that can lead to anxiety, depression, and maybe even worse, this feeling or belief in being inadequate compared to the rest of what's happening around us."

A study found that Facebook's introduction to college campuses caused a 7% increase in severe depression and a 20% increase in anxiety disorders among students.

That was at its introduction.

"Part of me wants to believe that the negative outweighs the positive, but I also will come back to I think that depends on the human."

The question isn't whether to use these tools. It's how.

"Are you using social media to cope? Are you using it to numb the pain? Are you using it to waste time?"

Habits That Actually Help

George shared what's working for him, with the caveat that everyone needs to build their own routines.

Morning gratitude. Taking a few minutes to reflect on what he's grateful for. Sometimes it's just that he woke up another day.

Mindful movement. Walking on his treadmill while watching something motivational. Connecting movement with mental input before diving into everyone else's problems.

Scheduled breaks. Stepping away from the screens to clear his mind. Sometimes just standing barefoot in the grass, feeling the earth, looking at the sky, then going back to work.

Evening wind-down. This is where he admitted he sucks. His dream evening would include reading, journaling, calm music, getting away from devices an hour before bed. His reality is watching a show with family and checking his phone one last time before sleep.

"I could get way better at that evening piece."

Why This Matters for Your Beyond Your Default Journey

Mental health is the cornerstone of everything.

Self-awareness. Emotional intelligence. Resilience. Community. Growth.

Without it, you can't build anything sustainable. You can't maintain motivation. You can't persevere when things get tough.

"If we're clouded, if we're disconnected, if we don't have this self-awareness and this emotional intelligence, this becomes somewhat difficult."

George referenced a verse he's adapted for this conversation.

"Proverbs 4:23 reminds us, above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it. And George 4:23 says, guard your mind as well."

Quotable Moments

"You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you."

"The quality of your thoughts dictates the quality of your life."

"Are you coping or are you healing? Because those are two very different things."

"Many of us are walking around with gaping wounds in our brain, and everybody's acting like they can't see it."

"Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all."

Questions to Sit With

1. Are you coping or are you healing? Be honest with yourself about the difference.
2. If you wouldn't walk around with a gaping wound in your chest without getting help, why are you walking around with wounds in your mind?
3. What would change if you treated your mental health with the same attention you give your physical health?

Press play above to hear the full conversation. George and Liz go deeper into their personal struggles, the impact of technology on mental health, and why seeking professional help might be the most empowering decision you ever make.