Default baggage, the destination, and importance of beyond

George was sitting in an apartment in Youngstown, Ohio. He'd been drinking. He'd smoked some weed. Popped a couple pills. He was watching TV with someone he barely knew when he heard words come out of his own mouth:

"Man, dude, this house could burn down right now, and I'd just sit and watch the flames."

The next morning, he started carving his life apart.

This episode goes back to the beginning. What do we actually mean when we say "beyond the default"? What is the default? And why is it so dangerous to stay stuck in one?

We're Not Anti-Dinner

Before diving in, George wanted to clear something up.

After the podcast launched, his wife came to him with a question. In the teaser episode, George had described the default as waking up, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, watching TV, and doing it all again.

Her response? "We do that."

And she's right. They do. Most people do.

But that's not what George is talking about.

"There's a difference between being stuck in a rut and taking valuable downtime. I don't want those confused."

The default isn't about dinner or Netflix. It's about escaping instead of resting. It's about hating your job, hating your relationships, hating your existence, and believing it has to be that way.

It's about surrendering to the belief that this is just what you've been given, so this is what you have to take.

The Warehouse Guy in Cleveland

George knows what the default feels like because he lived it.

There was a time when he fundamentally believed he didn't deserve the best out of life. He was working at a furniture store in Cleveland as a warehouse guy. Picking things up. Putting them down. Loading trucks.

He lived in a room in someone else's house. He knew he didn't belong there. He knew there had to be more.

"If your mind is telling you there's more, if your body is telling you there's more, if you leave for work and you're just not excited, not joyous, not lit up by the potential of the day, you might be in a default state."

Back then, George wasn't watching TV to relax. He was watching TV to escape. He wasn't going to the bar for fun. He was going to avoid his life. Every tab he ran up was another way to check out of an existence he couldn't stand.

How Did He Get There?

George was honest about what pulled him off course.

He'd been working at a Christian camp for three years, teaching kids how to ride horses and learn about Jesus. He felt like he was living his purpose.

Then he met a girl.

"Why do all men make the great choices they make? Because of a girl."

He moved to Cleveland to be with her. Put everything else on hold. And slowly slipped into a life that felt like hell on earth.

But here's what he wants people to understand: the catalyst isn't what matters. What matters is recognizing when you've drifted into a default state and having the courage to carve your way out.

Stuck vs. Stepping Stones

One of the most important distinctions George made in this episode: there's a difference between feeling stuck and understanding stepping stones.

Life will give you stepping stones. Jobs that teach you things. Relationships that shape you. Seasons that prepare you for what's next. These aren't the same as being stuck in a rut.

"When I felt like I was supposed to become a pastor, did I realize it was only going to be for a short time of my life? No. But was it the lessons I needed to move forward? Absolutely."

During his time as a pastor, George learned to create messages. Stand on stage. Design graphics. Build websites. God, in his infinite wisdom, knew where they were headed. The stepping stones were preparation, not the destination.

The key is recognizing which one you're on. Are you picking up tools for the next leg of the journey? Or are you just circling the same hill, going nowhere?

The Backpacks We Refuse to Put Down

George got passionate about something during this conversation: forgiveness.

He's watched too many people carry backpacks and suitcases full of historical baggage up their mountain. Refusing to forgive. Refusing to let go. And wondering why the climb feels impossible.

"Yo, forgiveness isn't for them. When you forgive them or you forgive yourself, you're literally freeing yourself. You're freeing your own mind. You're freeing your own spirit."

He's had to forgive himself to move forward. He's had to forgive others to get beyond what was holding him back. And he's watched people refuse to do either, dragging weight they should have checked at the gate years ago.

"You still have 12-year-old clothes that you're trying to put on a 30, 40, or 50-year-old body. Just leave it. Quit carrying nonsense."

The People Who Won't Make It to the Top

This is where the conversation got real.

When you push beyond your default, not everyone is coming with you. Some friends won't make it. Some relationships will end. Some people simply aren't built to breathe the air at the mountaintop.

"Many of us keep the friends we have because we're afraid to be alone. Many of us deal with family stuff because we feel like we were born into a situation and have to stick with it."

George has had to make hard decisions. This person isn't right for me because when I'm with them, I always do this. These people aren't right for me because when I'm with them, I always think this.

Getting to your ultimate destination means honestly assessing who's helping you climb and who's weighing you down.

Bringing Others Along

But what about the people you want to take with you? Your family. Your closest friends. The people who are part of your heart.

George's answer surprised Liz.

"I don't necessarily know if I'm trying to prepare them to be on my journey. I'm trying to get them on their own journey."

He described it like climbing a mountain with multiple paths. Everyone agrees on the destination. But everyone takes their own route. Everyone moves at their own pace.

"I might be at that mountaintop for a long time before anybody gets there, but I'm definitely giving them messages, ways to help them navigate their path."

The key is patience. Understanding that your journey isn't their journey. Being okay with them taking their own time. And being willing to meet them along the way when they need help.

The Morning After

Back to that apartment in Youngstown.

When George heard those words come out of his mouth, something clashed inside him. The spirit of a guy who'd worked at a Christian camp. A guy who knew there was purpose for his life. A guy who'd almost died in the military and almost died in a motorcycle accident.

That guy had gotten so deep into a default that he cared so little about himself he wouldn't even try to move out of a burning building.

"There was an immediate clash. Within the next day, I was changing things. Within the next couple weeks, I was going through a divorce. I moved back to Ohio. I was living with my brother."

He carved out everything that wasn't supposed to be there. And that ending became the beginning of everything most people know him for. His wife. His kids. His career. This podcast.

"That's the beginning of that story. Because it was this aggressively chaotic dark crescendo of, woah. I will not be here much longer if I continue on this path."

What He'd Tell His Younger Self

If George could go back, he wouldn't just observe from a distance. He'd try to catch himself earlier.

What got him there was wanting to be liked. Wanting to not be alone. Wanting to fit in. So he kept putting himself where he didn't belong.

"It's not that important to be liked and to fit in. Because if you stand out, you will be liked. I wasn't trying to stand out. I was just trying to fit in. There's a big difference."

The other advice? Wrong crowd, wrong circumstance. If he'd been hanging out with the right people, he never would have found himself in that apartment saying those words.

Quotable Moments

"There's a difference between being stuck in a rut and taking valuable downtime. I don't want those confused."

"If your mind is telling you there's more, if your body is telling you there's more, you might be in a default state."

"Forgiveness isn't for them. When you forgive them or you forgive yourself, you're literally freeing yourself."

"You still have 12-year-old clothes that you're trying to put on a 30, 40, or 50-year-old body. Just leave it."

"If you stand out, you will be liked. I wasn't trying to stand out. I was just trying to fit in. There's a big difference."

Questions to Sit With

1. Do you know where you're headed? What does your mountaintop look like?
2. Who do you need to forgive so you can get there? What do you need to let go of so you're not weighted down?
3. Are you escaping your life or resting from it? There's a difference.

Press play above to hear the full conversation. George goes deeper into the moment everything changed, the difference between stepping stones and being stuck, and why forgiveness might be the heaviest backpack you're refusing to put down.