When Did Love Become Uncool?

Here's a confession: across dozens of episodes of Beyond Your Default, the word "love" has appeared in single digits. Not because it doesn't matter. Because it matters so much that talking about it felt too risky.

This episode tackles the elephant in the room. Why do we avoid talking about love? Why does it feel uncool, even embarrassing, to admit that love is the reason for everything? And what happens when we finally stop hiding from the most important conversation we could possibly have?

The Sermon a 15-Year-Old Gave

When George was preparing for this episode, he got transported back to Cardwell, Montana. He was 15 years old, standing in front of his church, giving a sermon.

The topic? Love.

Not the Hallmark Channel version. Not the rom-com fantasy. He talked about how love is messy. How there are different kinds of love that most people never think about.

Eros. The passionate, romantic love everyone assumes when they hear the word.

Philia. The deep friendship love built on mutual respect and shared values.

Storge. The natural, unconditional love between family members.

Agape. The selfless, universal love extended to all people without expecting anything in return.

At 15, George made a decision: "My life goal is to grow up as agape love. I want to be selfless. I want to extend compassion to all people. I want to be committed to others' well-being."

That decision never left him. It just went underground for a while.

Why Love Became a Four-Letter Word

When George first brought up this topic, he said something that stopped the conversation cold: "We can't talk about that."

Why not?

Because love is messy. Because it means different things to different people. Because most of us have been hurt by it.

Past hurts leave scars you can't see. After enough heartache, it's easy to start associating love with pain instead of possibility. Being guarded becomes the norm. And when being guarded is the norm, love stops being cool.

Then there's the commercialization problem. Instagram feeds full of perfect relationships. Hallmark movies where everything works out. Valentine's Day ads selling the fantasy. When real life doesn't match the carnival mirror version of love we're fed through screens, we start wondering if we're the problem.

And vulnerability? Loving someone means putting yourself out there. Being real. Showing your true self. In a world that praises independence and toughness, admitting you need love can feel like weakness.

"If you've been hit in the forehead with the religious 2 by 4, you know what it feels like. I didn't want to return that to the world."

The Manicure That Changed Everything

George's highlight of the week before recording this episode wasn't a business win. It wasn't a speaking gig. It was getting a manicure and pedicure with his wife and daughter.

He sat there getting the hot rocks and the oils and the foot massage, and he realized something: he'd been hiding from self-care because it didn't feel "manly."

"If you're a guy listening to this and you haven't gone and got a pedicure at some point in your life, I'm just asking you to try it once."

Self-love isn't just bubble baths and affirmations. It's choosing to take care of yourself even when part of you thinks it's not cool. It's showing up for yourself the way you'd show up for someone you love.

Because here's the thing: you can't pour love into the world if you haven't poured love into yourself first.

The Love Story We Always Ignore

Liz dropped something during the conversation that hit hard.

She's been single for the longest stretch of her adult life. At first, she hated it. Then she started asking herself a question: "Am I chasing love, or am I trying to avoid my fear of loneliness?"

There's a difference.

She went on a date recently. The guy was nice. The spark wasn't there. They both knew it. They parted ways kindly.

And she was fine.

"I've gotten to this weird place where I'm just really kinda happy being me."

That's the love story nobody talks about. Not the one where you find someone else. The one where you find yourself.

"The first love story we need to forge is with ourselves."

Love Is Already in the Framework

George got called out during this episode. If love is the reason for everything, why isn't it explicitly in the superhuman framework?

His answer: it is. It's just underneath everything else.

Love, purpose, passion, and persistence are the foundation the 10 H's are built on.

Happiness? Love is what makes happiness deep and lasting instead of a passing emotion.

Health? Self-love nudges us to take better care of ourselves, develop healthy habits, and practice kindness toward our own bodies and minds.

Hustle? Love is the fire that fuels drive and passion. When you truly love your goals, you stay motivated to keep pushing.

Helpful? When love is at the heart of what we do, helping others isn't obligation. It's desire.

Humility? Love teaches us to put others first and stay grounded in what really matters.

Holiness? You can't have a conversation about spirituality without some level of love running through it.

"Love is everything. Love is everywhere. It's just our relationship with it that we have to focus on."

What Pop Culture Gets Wrong

Think about your favorite love stories. Most of them end right when the actual love story begins.

The credits roll when they get together. We never see what happens after. We don't watch them navigate conflict, choose each other when it's hard, or build something that lasts.

Pop culture sells infatuation and calls it love. It shows obsession and calls it devotion. It packages fantasy and makes us feel broken when our lives don't look the same.

"Has anybody ever noticed that our favorite love stories end right when the actual love story begins?"

Real love isn't the butterflies at the beginning. It's the choice you make every day to show up, even when showing up is hard.

Making Love Cool Again

George wants people to think about love differently.

Love as action. It's not just about feeling warm and fuzzy. It's about what you do every day. Acts of kindness. Showing compassion. Being loyal. Love is a choice you get to make as long as you're breathing.

Love as foundation. At the core of every meaningful tradition is the idea that love is about compassion, empathy, and wanting the best for others. When you want the best for others, the best for you shows up at your door.

Love as community. Love isn't just between individuals. It's about how we treat our communities, our circles, our tribes. When love drives us to seek justice and collective well-being, we build something bigger than ourselves.

Love as loyalty. Deep, enduring commitment to the people and values you care about. The kind that brings stability and purpose to your life.

Love as pathway. The only way to live a life beyond your default is by loving yourself, loving others, and making that love an intentional daily practice.

Quotable Moments

"Love is not just something that happens. Love is something that we actively choose."

"Once you start pouring love into yourself, it becomes so much easier to pour love into the world."

"Are you seeking without what you should be seeking within first?"

"I'm just really kinda happy being me."

"Be cool by the way, and lead with love, because that truly is the cool factor."

Questions to Sit With

1. When you hear the word "love," what kind of love do you think of first? What kinds have you been ignoring?
2. Are you seeking love outside yourself when you should be building it within first?
3. What would change if you stopped worrying about whether love was "cool" and just led with it anyway?

Press play above to hear the full conversation. George and Liz go deeper into the different types of love, why they've both been afraid to talk about it, and what happens when you finally decide to stop hiding from the most important word in the human experience.